A Year Ago Yesterday

I got my first online hater.

In the online space, clashing of opinions is quite common; especially when there are strong feelings behind them.

My strong feelings of excitement are still present; in fact, they have been reaffirmed time and time again over the course of the year as I continue to limit my physical interactions.

When I wrote the post, I knew my perspective would go against the narrative playing out for many people. Being unaware of the chaos occurring in the world would have been nearly impossible. 

Fear was thick in the air; it was palpable even in the small northern community I live in. The internet was an interesting place to spend time my time, with non stop articles appearing everywhere you looked, the topic discussed in every interaction.

It was clear that life would be changed forever, global history was being made right before our eyes. 

There was potential for danger, and yet, not everyone needed to be in full on panic mode. Some of us could sill keep things together, to not give into the fear and the state of the world, and use the time to pause, reflect and take it all in.

Was I effected by the situation? Yes 100%!! As an owner and co-owner of two small local based businesses, my work was brought to an abrupt halt. 

Gyms and restaurants closed, leaving me at home, like so many others, to try to figure out how to keep doing life, trying to keep in touch with loved ones, and keep ourselves (our mind) occupied so it didn’t go rushing to the worst case scenario we were all being faced with.

And of course it is worth noting how lucky I was, to have the ability to even try working from home, to have a savings in the bank, and a few clients I could see online. 

On a deeper level, to have come from a privileged background, brought up by to loving parents who encouraged and supported me to live a healthy lifestyle, with fish caught in the ocean, and vegetables grown in our backyard, where bread was often made on a somewhat regular basis.

These very facts were being used to shame me for feeling excited about the potential for a big change in the way life was lived; where we slow down and appreciate the wonder that is this human experience.

How dare I be excited when there are people dying? 

How dare I look towards to the horizon and see hope instead of despair? 

Why was I shamed for benefiting from the life I had no choice being born into and the choices I made from that worldview? It says nothing about my beliefs and what my hopes and dreams are for the future.

Why have we become so attached to labels that we miss the chance to have a real conversation? Where we can communicate based on shared understanding by contributing our own personal perspectives rather than jumping to conclusions based on our own assumptions?

I want to move towards less generalized labels and move towards accepting people for who they are, not basing my opinion on just their lived experiences but on wisdom they have gained.

I will never be able to speak from perspectives other than my own, and yet I can still listen to other points of view and hold them both as true. I can be as inclusive and welcoming as I possibly can and do my best to relate to people beyond the body they occupy, and the life they have lived so far.

Shame and tearing down others for sharing their lived experiences does not support expansion of our collective consciousness.

A year ago yesterday I lost my mojo to share my point of view and gave into the public scolding for attempting to uplift others.

Who knows what would have happened if the hater was from a different background that mine, a privileged position, who has a common interest in helping other humans live better lives and was perhaps feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders… which is, of course, another assumption!

I continue to hold space for and send love to those who criticize; I do not know their lived experience, the stress they could be feeling, or the pressure they may be under to keep it all together.

This last year showed me in so many ways how I too needed to slow down, and re-evaluate my direction. It took me since a year ago yesterday to fully commit to where I was going and become so clear on the message I am here to share, via the way I am here to live.

The overarching theme? 

Hope.

It’s holding a vision of the future I want to see; where people don’t get caught up in their fear of living life. Where emotions are felt and MOVED out of the body.

Where they let go of the primal animal instincts of survival mode when they are not in life or death situations.

You know what isn’t supportive for a world going through major growing pains? Being a tangled bunch of nerves, hustling from one thing to the next, feeling shame and guilt about spending time on themselves.

I want to do my best to do the opposite AND hold space for the  of others experiences…. because I know there’s a better way. 

But only if you are open to finding it within you.

I do not have all the answers; just the answers I found on my own path. 

From this point of view I can help uplift those who are stuck to connect to the earth and tap into their Self; not just that nattering voice inside their head.

I want to help ground you into whatever your vision is for your future; create an anchor to your pie in the sky, whatever that looks like for you.

I want to give you permission to think bigger than your current scenario - you are not your critical mind, you are so much bigger and so much more powerful that you will ever know.

How are you feeling? 

Are you triggered by my big picture vision, poking holes in my optimism? Good! That voice you are hearing is not you; it’s only the voice that keeps you in the box you are currently in.

You are the one who listens.

I hope you feel inspired to keep holding your own vision for the future. To know that your thoughts, emotions and experiences are valid and can be used as the fuel to take you wherever you want to go.

What vision are you holding?